Poor Flossie

As has become the de-facto standard in America and particularly in Hawaii, everything is a disaster waiting to happen. This week is no different than any other week.

The government, in its mad rush to maintain relevance – and a budget – in the face of the overwhelming evidence that, as a protector of the public health and wealth, it continues to fail miserably and cannot function in any capacity except as a criminal enterprise dedicated to death and taxes, continues it’s terror campaign against the sheep.

The only effective product of the government is the high drama, designed to keep everyone in fear that we cannot save ourselves and must depend on Big Brother. Uncle Sam’s propaganda flows like expensive prohibition rotgut over the boot tops of the citizenry and into our socks. We are not supposed to notice. We are too stupid.

Specifically, this week has seen continuous warnings of impending doom as a tropical shower or two may or may not produce rain in Hawaii in any significant amount. Even if it rains ten inches, it does that a few times a year and always has. It’s not news. It’s nature.

Tsunami are not news either. If the water level in the ocean falls two feet below the low tide level and the ocean botton becomes visible, it’s a sign from God for you to run out as far as you can onto the now-visible ocean floor. In four minutes, you’ll be high-steppin’ for home, but you won’t make it. Fish gotta eat, too. And you’ll do it for sure unless the government tells you not to. We live in the tsunami capital of the world. The function of government is not providing accurate information to independent thinkers, but preventing natural selection in any form.

All of our emergency personnel are on alert, Civil Defense is manned and ready, schools are out, FEDEX, UPS and the post office are closed and nothing at all is going to happen. It never does. We are being taught to fear impending doom. At least four people called me over the past several days asking if I needed any help ‘battening down the hatches”; questing had I propane and food stocked up, gas in my truck, and whether my emergency preparations were complete for doomsday.

The answer is that my emergency preparations will never be complete but that one more rain cloud (rain is somewhat common in Hawaii) does not evoke within my breast a state of panic. If it starts raining I’ll close the windward windows.

The island upon which I have chosen to live out my days is uniquely protected from damn near everything except stupid people, which it attracts like so many iron filings to a magnet.

I refuse to play. Everyone else can be drawn into a state abject terror whenever some incompetent government lackey issues an ‘official warning’. I have exactly the dame data at hand as the Mouseketeers. The only danger is believing authority.

I am actually a bit surprised that martial law wasn’t declared. By this time next year it will be declared whenever a squall line approaches. We must be protected after all. From ourselves. We must be freed of any responsibility for our own safety. We are too stupid to be trusted with our own lives.

If you are one of the people who called me in a high dither, I appreciate your concern, but you are a dumbass.

I just got this from the PDC. The astute observer will note that ‘Flossie’ has never quite made it to the ‘cyclone’ definition and, in fact, is fading away rapidly – LIKE EVERY OTHER STORM WHICH TRIES TO PUSH OVER THE BIGGEST VOLCANIC ROCK IN THE WORLD WITH WIND:

FOR THOSE UNDER A WARNING…YOUR PREPARATIONS TO PROTECT LIFE
AND PROPERTY SHOULD BE RUSHED TO COMPLETION. IN A TROPICAL
CYCLONE…CONDITIONS CAN CHANGE QUICKLY. EVACUATE IF DIRECTED
TO DO SO BY LOCAL OFFICIALS…OR IF YOUR HOME IS VULNERABLE TO
HIGH WINDS OR FLOODING. CANCEL ANY BEACH ACTIVITIES UNTIL FURTHER
NOTICE. PERSONS LIVING NEAR THE SHORE SHOULD BE PREPARED TO
EVACUATE QUICKLY SHOULD BUILDING SURF THREATEN.

You are all going to die today. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I may take a nap later.

Dr. Tom is a retired scientist who is now farming on the Big Island of Hawaii.

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